An end is just the start of something new EN
by Aki no Skadi
Summary: When Tony's life is broken, his mind sinks in a enigmatic state, protecting himself from the outer world. But the uncontrolled actions of that human-being falling apart may have fatal consequences. Could he be saved ? [FROSTIRON]*[AU]*[CURRENTLY STOPPED]
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone!  
**

**I begin my first fanfiction in English, a Loki x Tony !  
**

**The characters of the Marvel universe, like Pepper Potts, Loki, Tony Stark do not belong to me. By the way, what the characters say do not follow every time what the autor think, no mistaking please. **

**It's an alternative universe : the events of Thor 2 did not happened, as those of Avengers and Iron Man 3.**

**I put Rating M by precaution, but most of the chapters do not follow it.  
**

**I think I'll update once per week, and if you prefer to read in French, there's a French version.  
**

****I hope you'll enjoy reading!****

* * *

**" A small glass of whisky Jarvis, please!"**

**"Sir, it is 9 am in the morning. I do not believe it's time for…"**

**"Jarvis, seriously? What better way to begin the day?**

Stark Tower, a day like any other. Although it was quite rare to see the billionaire up this early. This one not being any more at the head of his company, he had no longer to take care of the administration and all that paperwork (on this point, no real change). Stark Industry was now in the hands of Pepper Potts, a strong woman having known how to stand out and to defend herself against numerous criticisms. The company was not small in its domain and the offers to buy it kept coming.

**"Tell me, Jarvis…"** asked the philanthropist. **"What's the weather like in Florida? I'd like to take a small dive…"**

**"Tony… Did you forget that you're invited in a show about technology this very day?!"**

That was Pepper. Dressed in a gray tailor, she was walking of a fast step, her head already full of chores and meetings not to be forgotten. She took the opportunity to take away the glass of alcohol of his beloved, not without outcry, before throwing it out.

**"He was innocent, Pepper! " **Exclaimed Tony. **"Why so much hate?"**

After stopping, she sighed and decided to answer him.

**"Tony, for God's sake, we said no whisky in the morning! You become absolutely useless even annoying when you're drunk. And you will not miss that show."**

There was only one person in this world to stand up to the great Tony Stark, and that was Pepper. No one else had enough courage and patience to endure that big kid who didn't care about courtesy and decency. And people, who, despite all of that, tried it, have not fond memories about it. He took a bad pleasure in making fun of people by disturbing them, not fearing any feedback.

**"Well, if there's one reason why I left my post, that's because I don't give a shit about sparkling parties or whatever…"**

Facing the outraged face of the redhead, he quickly added:

**"…but also because you deserve this job more than me! You are so much more competent and serious and motivated and…"**

**"Tony…"** Pepper cut him off, rolling her eyes and blushing. **"No need to exaggerate, we have our own flaws…"**

**"That's right!"** he called out, throwing up one arm."You lack some fun!"

The young woman, with a disillusioned look, let him in his fantasies and checked the stack of sheets on her desk. One of them got her attention.

**"No news from the Avengers project?"** She questioned him, remembering the visits of the agent Coulson, a very kind man who let go some information on his secret group after a few glasses of champagne.

Tony, who gave himself another drink meanwhile, swallowed hardly a mouthful before resting his beverage. The subjects stayed painful for him. First totally reluctant to the idea of making a band of Powerpuff Girls psychologically unstable dedicated to be used like pawns, he had reconsidered the project, particularly for the possibility of meeting Dr. Banner and learning more about that suspicious organization that was Shield. But in the end, he has been left out and considered inappropriate for a group work implying great responsibility. If his pride had sent them to hell in the first place, his torments and his self-esteem issues got quickly the better of the man.

**"Tony? …"**

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice the worried stare of his partner. But he didn't want to bother her with his problems, so he hid them once again.

**"Oh, that's right! Looks like that band of psychos had stopped harassing me like groupies… Too bad, their name was quite cool! Well, personally, I would have chosen something with more teeth and meaner, not a simple defensive thing…"**

The flow of words didn't let Pepper convinced. It was obvious that the confidential project had attracted the inventor, she knew him after all. She was, however, still against the idea of seeing her lover in armor involved in battles of international, maybe intergalactic (rumors were heard) proportions.

**"You shouldn't matter, their motives are still uncertain."** She cut him. **"We got more pressing concerns."**

**"Exactly!"** shouted Tony, raising his glass. **"You could tell by his look that he was suspicious, that agent!"**

Stung, the redhead let go an exclamation before answering him.

**"Excuse me? I hope you were not speaking about Phil!"**

**"Oh please!"** he said, rolling his eyes. **"He wanted to manipulate you! We must admit that with me in their team, they would be much more effective! Too bad for them that they didn't change their mind! Me? I don't give a fuck."**

**"This is becoming ridiculous, let's not talk about it."** Pepper sighed, heating up a little.

**"What the hell? I mean, first, I have money. Then, I'm a genius. And finally, I have an armor more performing than any of their weapons. I don't understand. Or I am not enough patriotic, moralistic, or I don't know what shit they make people believe. They might as well ask me to wear panties and tights… Sorry for not parading at each so-called humanitarian party! My…"**

**"Tony."** She cut him again, exhausted by his babble. **"It's okay. They don't need us, we don't need them. You saved thousands of lives…"**

_And killed millions of them_, considered the billionaire.

That dark thought kept haunting him and would stay in his mind until his last breath. The woman a little calmed down seemed to understand what was darkening him so she put her hand on his arm. This act tended to appease the man in his off moments and helped him to get out his thoughts. He groaned when the warm touch stopped, but the effect was still here.

**"Listen to me."** added she. **"For a very long time, you were blinded. But, you managed to recover, and that's the most important thing. You made, therefore, acts of bravery. You had the guts to confront your past and to change, despite all the comfort of your former life. Well, yes, that would be a great help if you were more present in humanitarian stuff, with all the money you accumulated…"**

The dark-haired grumbled, his mood as changing as the level of alcohol in his glass.

**"Oh, Pepper, don't try again to put me in one of your terrible plans where I have to dress up and be a demagogue…"**

**"Wait!"** she exclaimed, upset about his mood swings. **"What the matter with making people happy by your presence?"**

**"Come on, we both know the only thing they love about me, that's my cash!"** Tony laughed, bitterly. **"And then they pull you apart the slightest mistake you make in one of these shitty celebrity gossip magazines…"**

**"We're not talking about the same people; I'm talking about humanitarian things…"**

**"But that's the same! Damn, you could be so blind sometimes!"** he cut her. **"They come, all dressed up in suits, in parties with caviar in all-you-can-eat buffets, to show off and say loudly:**_"Look at me, I'm a good man! I'm in a HUMANITARIAN party!"** Fuck, I'm sick of that."**_

Offended, Pepper walked away. He was misleading everything, once again. But she wasn't in the mood for a fight today, she had better to do.

**"Listen, we'll talk about it another time, when you'll be able to do it. In the meantime, I'm busy."**

And she slammed the door.

**"Love you too"** he sighed.

It was silly that she got into such a state for nothing. After all, he was being nice, going to her show or whatever. He needed some vacations. He put his hand on his arm, where the delicate hand had touched him. The feeling of warmth was gone and his dark thoughts were back, filling his mind.

That was the last time she spoke to him.

* * *

Thanks for reading! If you're interested, I'm looking for a beta-reader who would help me for grammar and all. English isn't my first language so the help would be great!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, everybody !

(Well, nobody is actually following this story so I will shut up but)

It seems people prefer the French version, but as an exercise (as with my other fanfiction I'm writing), I will keep translating in English ! :)

Tell me if you're interested in this version. If no one read it, I will slow down the pace (September - high school).

Please note that's an AU, an alternative universe, so yeah, the legal system isn't like in real life.

* * *

Six in the morning, in an apartment on the Fifth Avenue. An alarm went off. A lazy hand tried to touch something in the dark, wanting to turn off in vain the device, but the ring-tone was keeping on ringing. It ended unfortunately exploded on the wall. The tenant of the flat opened his eyes, still half-asleep. Once the light turned on, he went straight to his bathroom, starting thus the day with a cold shower. Once entirely clean, he pulled on simple but elegant clothes: a white shirt coupled with a black jacket, these two accompanied by common blue jeans. After being dressed, he opened the shutters of his window. Winter was still there, it was the night and the city was sleeping. The man went then to the kitchen to have his usual breakfast, bread and tea. Apparently, there was no more bread, this was a pretty bad start. He tried not to explode internally and chose reluctantly some cheap cereals instead before serving himself some tea. He seated himself at his table and noticed a little note next to a newspaper.

"_Sorry John, I finished the bread!"_

She acted definitely too much like she owned the place. He had to bring her back down to earth before she believes that their relationship was serious. Well, she was human after all. He threw the note to the bin without any remorse. While waiting for the time when his beverage would not be too hot, he took a look on the paper, skimming the news stories, one more ridiculous than the next because of their futility. Well, another bank robbery. Maybe he could find an interesting case… Oh, no, the culprit had been shot. As a lawyer, he had given himself a specific mission and he was only interested in the cases where capital punishment could be considered. He flipped through the pages, not finding anything at his taste. But he had already eaten all of his cereals, and his tea was still too hot. He picked an article at random about the billionaire Tony Stark. The man himself was quite interesting and had quickly drawn his attention. Come on, he had succeeded into making a high-tech armor which gave him dangerous powers he could use for the good. He was the kind of obstacle that people who wanted to attack the Earth would encounter. But he was still at the same level as the other men. His name, associated with alcohol, sex, and arrogance, made people magazines happy. They always found some compromising pictures they can sink their teeth into. However, the periodic the lawyer was reading currently was a little more serious than that. Certainly, its opinion was sometimes quite polemic, but it had never cared for stars' gossip. That's why the heading "Stark, no hope left?" surprised him. Things must have gone too far for the philanthropist. He settled down comfortably in his chair and began to read the article.

"_Everyone knows the wealthy son of Howard Stark, for his genius regarding weapons development, for his Iron Man suit he uses occasionally in heroic manners, for extravagant parties named after him, or even for his bad tendencies for depravity and excess. After having definitely stopped the production of weapons by his company Stark Industry, four years ago, Tony Stark had finally found a balance in his life. His deviant behavior had eased and the future was wide open. All of this thanks to the charming Pepper Potts, his former secretary he had appointed as the head of his company, leaving his comfy place to her. She had taken this role diligently and had succeeded into the conversion of the industry, re-directed into the new sustainable energy research. Their engagement had only helped the reconstruction of the man, whose kidnapping had greatly shaken him up and motivated his pacification…"_

Too bad, it looked so perfect. How long until the twist? The lawyer could see clearly a little tragic accident coming, for the benefits of the media…

"…_However, fate is cruel. Three days ago, while she was leaving the Stark tower, Pepper's car, driven by Happy Hogan, got hit by a truck. The accident was of a rare violence, there were no survivors…"_

Oh well, there it is, that little accident. Life kept coming and going away, that's all. No need to write an article and to dramatize that much. Life expectancy of humans was so short…

"…_Saddened by this terrible news, we were apprehending with fear the reactions of her beloved. Depression? Anger? We knew his unpredictable overreaction, as well as his strong love for the deceased…"_

And what, a suicide maybe? With a little luck, they would be able to make a movie or a novel with it: an accident, despair… Who will rule one of the biggest companies in the country?

"…_That's why we were stunned when we saw him that very day at the New Technologies Show, in NYC…"_

Tough luck for the movie. Maybe a book…

"…_The man seemed to be wearing a neutral mask during all the afternoon and that's with an incredible professionalism that he answered the questions of everyone, even these of the media he hated publicly. Several assumptions came to our mind: exemplary zeal? Temporary shock? It looked impossible to us that Tony Stark hadn't been affected by that loss. She had been the only woman who had taken his heart, the man that used to sleep in different beds every night…"_

The matter was puzzling a little bit the dark-haired man. He had read lots of bad things about Tony Stark, especially on his lack of seriousness while working and his unflinching pride. His current reactions didn't seem coherent. He continued reading the text.

"… _Sadly, we were quite hurt when we discovered some disturbing pictures on good authority. At evening of the same day when the frightening event occurred, the man who was probably the most miserable that day found an old friend called Whisky and ended the night with four lovely ladies. Act of desperation? That, though, is the reality: the old Tony is back now that his guardian angel is gone, far away. When we had all believed in a true transformation of the billionaire, it looks like all of this had been a cruel lie and that his true nature is finally taking back its rights. We had all believed in him, and it is with regret that we discovered our mistake. Because, where this could have been a single error, the following days, the scenario was repeated. Is there any hope left for this man?"_

At the end, he wasn't much better than the others. Disappointed, the lawyer still took a look at the mentioned pictures. It was indeed a smile on the widower's face. The four girls were all plastic, having a good time obviously. However, a little thing on the photo was ticking him. Where joy could be read on his mouth, the look of the billionaire was empty. We could expect to find exhaustion, or melancholy, or whatever but no, there was nothing. Being around humans all this time, the brunet had learnt how to read their mind, to dissect them in one look. And yet, he couldn't read anything this time, as if he was a kind of man on autopilot. "Smile, tell people what they want to hear, answer questions… But above all, don't ask anything!" That was rather sad to reach such a stage where consciousness had simply left the body, particularly when it was the body of a man so clever. Well, looks like humanity was truly meant to disappear…

Well, this affair was none of his concern. All of the actors of this tragedy were dead: Mrs. Potts, Mr. Hogan, the driver. End of the story. Tony Stark was nothing more than a ghost in this world, he would wander until the day when Death would decide to put him out of his misery, if he could still feel anything. The lawyer stood up and threw the newspaper to the same place where the little note was lying. He checked the time: he still had fifteen minutes. He sat back and drank calmly his tea. Once finished, he came back to his bedroom, looking for his badge. This was a gadget seemingly totally useless he had to bear whenever he was leaving his home and was going outside. It was capital. He had to go unnoticed in one of the most dangerous cities in the world. He wished to avoid as much as possible a meeting with a special member of his childhood, who had apparently fallen in love with this country, and that was why he had to say goodbye to his former look. Well, you could call it a whim but he treasured his hair and his face. The small wafer with written "John Waley" on it once pinned to his shirt, his long dark hair shortened and became brown, while his features softened. He checked to make sure his case was ready, closed the window, took a look for the last time at his flat and went out. Once the door closed, he went outside. The sun was up, shining, and traffic jam were already beginning to appear in front of his home. Nothing more irritating than seeing all of these people clustered at the same place. He felt freer by walking, stronger than them. It had to be something about his height, to be honest. Ah, these pathetic humans. He would be delighted to clean this neighborhood when he would get back his powers. This idea made the god smile, and with a unusual happiness, Loki went to work.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello !

Thanks for reading !

This chapter is a little weird, to be honest. I like the tone (seriously? -0-") but I can't say if you will.

I won't be at home for 10 days, so no chapter next week and the week after.

The problem is that I'll go back to high school very soon, so I won't have much time left for writing. I'm currently on two fanfictions, which I translate from French to English, so that makes four chapters per week. A chapter takes me one afternoon. Well, I'll give the priority to my other story because it will be short (around 6 chapters). I'm working harder on this one because I'm thinking about its scenario for months. Well, don't worry, I won't give up on this story ! I really enjoy writing it !

Sadly, there are more French readers, so they will have the chapter first :)

Good reading !

* * *

10 :54 am, Tony opened his eyes.

A strong light blinded him for a short moment before he could see again. He touched the surface on which he was laying and noted that it was a sofa. With the strength of his arms, the man tried to get up, but a violent headache drove him to stay in his former position. Staring at the white ceiling, he focused his attention on a black spot, the only intruder in the painting. Well, no, intruder wasn't the right word. It was certainly different but it had been added brilliantly to the composition, highlighting thus the brightness of the canvas. Something moved a little in the lower part of his legs and a sigh broke the silence. Who she was, he didn't know it, as good as where he was, what day, what month, what year… That was a curious thing, but for an indefinable time, he hadn't been able to feel time and space. He was getting carried away by the stream of life, the head stuck underwater. Suddenly, he was up. Sometimes, he closed his eyes and the moment after, he was elsewhere, with no memory of when or how he arrived there. The dark-haired man strived to stay focused but the comfortable roundness of his everyday life put him to sleep. It was just an infinite circle he was watching turn, turn, turn until he closed his eyes. He glanced at the woman currently asleep. Or were they four? Their peaceful faces had never looked more alive, freed from their acting. They were neither beautiful, nor dreadful or even attractive. But nothing attracted him in that poor world, nothing gave him shivers anymore. Tony looked briefly at the television set, but he had eventually grown tired of the machine, this and the constant gurgle of the anchors, to such an extent that he always ended switching off the audio before turning off definitely the TV.

The moment after, he was in a taxi, apparently wearing some clothes. He didn't know where he was going to or who was driving the car, but these things didn't matter anymore. The vehicle stopped. Not knowing the transportation's price, the billionaire gave his portfolio to him. He was facing a huge glass building surmounted by a logo. He decided to enter, ignoring the driver's protestations.

**"Hi! You're here for the interview? Follow me please!"**

There were not a lot of choices, so he followed the woman with a Colgate smile into the elevator. The latter was staring at him, trying for some reason to seduce him. Sadly for her, he ignored her magnificently, focusing on the numbers that were elevating painfully slowly.

**"Ding"**

He got out behind the young employee, leading to a maze of white corridors.

The moment after, he was sitting down in a chair, facing a man painted with make-up. The latter was visibly waiting for an answer, putting the microphone in his face.

**"I'll ask you again…"**

That Colgate smile again.

**"It is almost for two months that we're seeing you ending the parties with good company. Who were they? Are they always the same or…"**

**"I don't know"**, answered simply the brunet.

**"Oh, come on, you can tell us something…"**

His blank stare was enough to shut up the journalist, who looked for the next question in his notes, embarrassed. Nervous, he tightened his tie knot.

**"Well. About, hum, about Pepper Potts…"**

**"I won't be answering any questions on this subject."**

And the interview ended there. He didn't know why, but each time, his consciousness told him to say these words. A kind of insurmountable reflex that acted especially when he was trying to think about this name, which had built a strong barrier to protect itself. And headaches were following, discouraging the man.

He was not aware of the schedule of the day. What did he have to do now? How many times would he have to answer the same thing to the same questions? Tony decided to follow his instincts and let his feet guide him.

He guessed it was about lunchtime because he arrived in front of a restaurant. The place was luxurious and the booking was already done. He was led to a table where were sitting two men. He didn't listen once to their conversation and stayed focused on his plate. What was it? A kind of mix of nothing and everything. He was strangely delighted to swallow and feel the burning pieces of meat in his throat, and when it was time for the dessert, ice took the place of heat. By luck, the two others were not paying attention to him. He crossed sometimes the look of one, nothing more. He was drinking his coffee.

The moment after, he was in front of a glass and brushes were tickling his cheeks. An unknown seemed to be confronted with a dilemma between two colors. At the end, she took her decision and polished him with the clearer of the two. Someone gestured to him to get up and pointed a direction.

**"You're on in five seconds. Five, four, three, two…"**

One.

Projectors. Glitter. Applause.

Tony came in the talk show and shook hands with the host. Afterwards, he was not able to recall everything. This had been a real chaos. The endless laughter of the man facing him, the controlled acclamation of the public, and that voice, that dreadful voice indicating what he had to do, what he had to say. He wanted to zone out there, to fall in one of these moments where he jumped through time. He wanted to end this infernal cycle, to end this absurd life he was leading. Going away, far away. He saw himself, standing up, taking the earphone and the microphone that were imprisoning him, throwing them on the floor. He saw himself running, running away from this world he couldn't recognize anymore, running away from this city that was holding him captive.

The moment after, Tony was still there in the studio, answering the requests of the tireless spectators. And the time passed, slowly.

Once the filming finished, he was finally about to leave this place and felt at the threshold of liberty.

**"Sir, you have to take pictures…"**

He inspired quietly.

**"…is waiting for you in his office for a meeting."**

A hand got his and guided him to another room. Corridors again. He found then the host, very proud of posing next to the famous billionaire. The shooting took a lot of time. Lighting had to be reviewed, and then it was the framing that wasn't good. It lacked some make-up, or maybe it was the suit that was too crumpled. And well, he had to smile. He was spending his life smiling. The dark-haired man had mastered the art of seeming and looked like a puppet in his opinion.

Then came the meeting with the man on top of this circus. It was surprisingly short. The latter had quickly given up when he saw the total lack of interest of his interlocutor. He was done with the day, apparently.

**"We will talk again tonight, right?"** said hopefully the man with the well-corrected plastic face. Great, he had to add on his schedule one of these never-ending parties where he would end up drinking too much and in a stranger's bed, a pair of long legs for company. He would just have to repeat his day tomorrow and carry on interviews, shooting, and dinners with mates he didn't even remember he had met.

He went out. The sky was the same as yesterday and the day before. Now that he was thinking about it, the brunet had already had these kinds of observations the previous day. However, he was neither able to tell when they had appeared, nor how. Had he spent his entire life in an accelerated mode and had he just woken up one day thinking "Who I am?". This thought made him dizzy and he had to cling to a barrier not to fall on the ground. A driver was waiting for him, but in this special moment, he was scared. Scared of falling back in the circle, scared of forgetting the trap and getting caught in it again. He tried to speak, but his voice was caught by the feelings.

**"I…I will walk. Thank you."** He whispered.

He felt like he was hearing his voice for the first time. Everything seemed too tall, too huge. Wasn't it safer for him to continue this lifestyle? What could he do in this world? All alone. He couldn't speak about his perceptions, they would not understand, they would think he was crazy. Some were calling themselves his friends, but who were the true ones? Tony couldn't tell anymore the difference between truth and lies, he trusted no one. He stayed a moment in front of the skyscraper before moving. He didn't know where to go, he couldn't even recall where he lived. He searched in his pocket but his portfolio wasn't there. Oh yeah, he had given it to the driver. No money, no taxi. His phone was dead and all he had to do now was hope they wouldn't think he was mad when he would ask them where he lived. He hesitated, watching passers-by. And then he was in the middle of a place. There were lots of people, lots of tourists moving around him. He was watching them coming and going, them as well as the advertisement display screens with the numerous blinking colors.

The moment after, he had his hand on a dagger. This one was slid in the chest of a man, whose shirt was turning red.

He had killed a man.

* * *

See you next time ! (I don't know when)


	4. Info

Hi guys !

I'm not really satisfied to tell you this, but I'm going to stop writing this fanfiction. During one year, I still have not found the will to continue, in spite of everything I had planned and worked. I had big goals, too big comparing to my free time, but I'm also not as fond of the characters as before, especially Tony since The Avengers 2.

Besides, on September, I will be no longer in high school but in a class to prepare an exam, in order to enter a real "high" school, so I won't have time to write. Maybe some One-Shots, but that's it.

However, I'm not quite sure what I should do: erase my work on the two websites I used, or let it on the internet ? My opinion is that letting it would take place for nothing and disturb the readers. This isn't as if the story had been already greatly developed.

I'll let this message and the story for two days before making a choice.

Thank you anyway for having followed my work. Maybe we will meet again if I write an OS (I still love the Marvel fandom !).


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